Being lost or sitting with confusion can be a very uncomfortable experience. It rubs right at that notion of being able to be in control of our destiny. Sometimes, this experience of being lost is very large and looming, like when we know we are at a fork in the road and need to chose between two paths. But more often than not, we are confronted with smaller, more ambiguous states of confusion such as “how do I feel today?”
When you are going through a life threatening condition, the rug often feels ripped out from underneath you. It can impact every aspect of our life, and finding comfort or security can feel like an impossible task.
In these moments, worry, anxiety or panic can easily settle in- or perhaps a sense of helplessness or depression. It’s an intriguing place to be- on one hand we might feel lulled into the comfort of at least feeling a concrete emotion, but if we can sit with the confusion we might just be lucky enough to make contact with our deepest wisdom- our own instinct.
Our instinct is characterized by the notion of a “gut feeling”. If we are fortunate, we were raised by parents who supported out intuitive wisdom and thus we build a healthy relationship with our gut feelings. If we weren’t, it is imperative that we begin to support ourselves through confusion in order to rebuild the lines of communication with our gut feeling.
Some of my most satisfying moments as a therapist are when I see someone reconnect with their gut feeling. There is often a look of wonderment on the person’s face, an experience of recognizing how wise they truly are. It is an honor to witness.
In guiding a person to make contact, I often imagine myself tip-toeing into their heart to plant a seed of trust and capability. While I might have the honor of planting it, it is my client’s hard work and belief in themselves that allows it to grow.
However, since being diagnosed with a life threatening condition hits at the core of our sense of safety, it takes everyone time to rebuild trust. If this theme is pertinent to you today, take some time to dialogue with yourself about what is blocking it. And if that little voice deep inside starts to speak, honor it by listening.
– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.