When I was diagnosed with cancer, I knew that I was going to be challenged to step up to the plate and face things that were going to test my endurance, my fears, my spirit, my hatred with being poked by a needle. That last one was a biggie for me, because traditionally I would come close to passing out when my blood was being drawn. I was tremendously grateful for my port while I had it, but I am happy to report that 2 1/2 years since I started this whole process, I have finally conquered the fear of needles. All the rumors are true- deep breathing actually works!
Anyways, the following are my 5 favorite tools for coping with cancer:
- Being honest with my feelings, not wearing that “everything’s fine” mask. In fact, the more permission I gave myself to be accepting of all of my feelings, the better and more resilient I felt. Feelings are messengers and when they are heard rather than suppressed or avoided they will deliver the message and then fade away.
- Staying curious with our experience. Each time I began to worry about how I was doing, I would turn back into myself and observe. This kept the assumptions and expectations at bay and allowed me to truly meet myself where I was “at”. I stayed as active as I could during treatment, and each time I faced the yoga mat or the dance floor I would ask myself- can I try? Most of the time, the answer was yes, and I often did more than I could have imagined.
- Harnessing your “Bad Ass”, for the good. Let’s admit it- often being stubborn is counterproductive, but when it comes to challenging those fears and what ifs by facing it head on- it’s a godsend.
- Write, draw, sing, embody your feelings and experiences- for this is a transformative time. let go of the B.S. that isn’t serving you anymore and drink in your pure, authentic, resilient self.
- Get connected to a cancer mentor– I found my breast cancer “big sister” through friends, and there are organizations who can match you up. Or check out the mentorship offered through Cancer Grad, created by two amazing cancer survivors, Aniela and Nora. Their mission is to redefine the language around confronting cancer from a battle to an education, which pays homage to how transformative the experience can be. You can be a Cancer Student (ie undergoing active treatment), Graduates (ie survivorship), and their Cheerleaders (ie support system). As a therapist, I have often wished to create a business to match my clients with mentors, so I am thrilled to have found Cancer Grad.
– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Creative Transformations offers individual sessions, in person or via Skype, workshops, and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.