Healing Self, Healing via Creativity, Survivorship 0 comments on Unpacking cancer’s baggage

Unpacking cancer’s baggage

Many moons ago a client told me about an article that she had read about the process of how and why therapy works.  She said the author described it as the process of unpacking our old baggage that we have been lugging around, exploring what is inside, and then repacking it in the manner and style we wish to.  This made sense to me, especially as often our baggage has items in it that we didn’t place in by choice.

Taking the time to unpack, observe and then re-pack allows us to let go of that which we no longer need and to be more conscious of what we are carrying around.  Sometimes we need to repeat this process over and over again, especially with those bags that hold our more tender, vulnerable, and intense experiences.  Through this process, we begin to make meaning from what we have been through and it’s importance in how it shapes who we are.

This week, I passed the two year marker of completing active treatment for breast cancer.  This day also happened to coincide with my kid’s final day of kindergarten and 2nd grade, along with other milestones for myself and my immediate family. BOOM it was done.  Another suitcase jammed full of experiences that we would need to unpack again when the time was right.

This anniversary marker has been floating in and out of my consciousness for the past week, but that afternoon I ended up with some free time, and thus it became first time I have given myself the opportunity to take a peak.  I was feeling out of sorts, wanting to be able to sift through efficiently and yet that was not in the cards for me.  Recognizing it wasn’t going to be a resolvable moment, I decided to just find a way to be with it rather that wrestle with the angst of not getting what I thought I wanted.

So here is what I did:

  • I found a way to accept where I was at
  • I found a quiet place to sit, and did a brief body scan- systematically going head-to-toe to observe what was happening inside myself
  • I quickly found this energy sitting in my chest, it was stingy, sore, uncomfortable.  I allowed myself to feel it
  • As I felt it, I increased my awareness of how my initial perception was changing, so I grabbed my art journal and supplies to put it on paper
  • I listened to my instinct about how to represent it, then finished with a few words to capture what was happening
  • I recognized that I was not going to be able to come away with a neatly re-packed suitcase.  That was not what my body and mind needed today, rather the need was to sit with the uncomfortable, the incomplete, the unknown.
  • I accepted that, closed my book, picked up my supplies, and walked away.

It’s impossible, said pride

It’s risky, said experience

It’s pointless, said reason

Give it a try, whispered the heart

-Unknown

I realize that it takes a lot of courage to face our baggage.  It can be overwhelming.  It does not have to be done alone.  The power of art and meditation can help us build a safe space in which to begin.  Allow your heart to guide you, and reach for support when you need it.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Healing via Creativity 0 comments on Healing through art and writing

Healing through art and writing

When I am sitting down with myself or someone else to help them heal through art, we often follow this flow:

  • find the jump off point, i.e. what part of our experience is asking to be explored
  • tuning into that experience by tuning into our body
  • translating that energy, sensation, thought or feeling onto paper through color, shape, or form
  • taking a step back to talk through what has been shared, discovering what is needed to support this aspect of our experience
  • wrapping up the session by titling the piece and writing a few words to recall what has happened

I often close the session with the recommendation that time be set aside for writing, whether it is to reflect upon what happened or to capture the internal response.  In grad school, we called this process an intermodal transfer, because we were moving from one form of expression to another.

This is a critical step, as it is similar to debriefing and analyzing our dreams.  When we are engaging in a meditative art practice, we are tapping into less conscious areas of awareness, similar to how dreams tap into our subconscious.  When we take the time to write and reflect, we pull that material into our conscious mind, allowing it to become more accessible for processing.  This is imperative when you consider what you had to push aside in order to survive treatment.

The writing can take any form: bullet points, short notes, paragraphs, etc.  One form of writing that often organically surfaces from art making is poetry.  Especially when you are in the process of describing what you see in your art work.  When I was contemplating the breast casts I did for each stage of treatment, it was as if the casts were speaking to me- the words tumbled out onto the page.

Elizabeth Gilbert, in her book Big Magic, unpacks the process of tapping into our creative genius, which through research she discovered that the Greeks and Romans did not believe creativity came from humans.  Rather, they thought that creativity was a divine spirit that came to human beings and assisted them in their creative expression. She writes:

“Ideas of every kind are constantly galloping toward us, constantly pass through us, constantly trying to get our attention.”

Having practiced and witnessed others engaging in art therapy, I would thoroughly agree with this notion.  When we relax into expressing the messages coming from within ourselves and through ourselves, we tap into a layer of spontaneity and deep wisdom, which often offers great relief and release from our pain.  It feels magical.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

 

Healing Self, Healing via Creativity, Survivorship 0 comments on A Cancer Story told through Art

A Cancer Story told through Art

Last October I gave a talk called “A breast cancer story told through art”, in which I discussed the how and why art can be used to heal emotionally following cancer.  I interwove the art work and writing that I had done from my cancer treatment experience to illustrate the theory in action, hoping that it would inspire others to find their own unique creative voice for healing.

I have been re-listening to the talk in preparation for a presentation I am doing.  Giving the talk was one of the highlights of my life, to be able to tell the story and share how art has helped me to heal, was such an honor.  You will find below a photograph of my breast casts, that show the treatment experience, and a link to the audio recording.  Please enjoy!

Above- the casts, Below- the link to the audio recording

The wound is the place where the light enters you

Rumi

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

 

Healing Self, Healing via Creativity, Survivorship 0 comments on Being diagnosed, or in other words, revisiting the beginning of the tale

Being diagnosed, or in other words, revisiting the beginning of the tale

Being diagnosed with cancer, or another life threatening condition, is often seen as the beginning of something.  An undoubtedly unanticipated and harrowing journey.  A day, or period of time, that will not be erased easily from memory.  An anniversary that requests to be reprocessed each year, to allow us to let go of what needs to be released and offers the opportunity for reflection- just like a birthday often does.

When I am introducing the concept of art therapy to individuals and groups, I often use the memory of being diagnosed as a jumping off point.  It is something that is universal to those who have faced a life threatening condition, independent of where they currently stand within their personal situation.  I also chose this point because it is multidimensional and full of material to work with- because this moment- or series of moments- are laden with thoughts, feelings and sensations.  If you are curious, click on this link, which will take you to a Facebook live video I did with CancerGrad, in which we talk about art therapy and then finish with a guided art/meditation experience of processing our diagnosis.

Processing our experience of being diagnosed is important, because when we wish to reclaim our sense of self, we need to let those critical moments speak.  They often hold suppressed material, because in that moment we are dealing with very strong thoughts, feelings and emotions, and it is not possible to unpack them all at once.  So each year when we cycle towards that moment, we consciously or not begin to bring up that which we still need to go through.  It’s like an onion, there are layers and layers to explore as we heal.  I have seen it stimulate strong self critical feelings, because it can be unsettling to be brought back to what sometimes feels like the beginning- as if no time has passed at all.

Another factor that can add complexity, is managing the narrative that others may wish to lay over our personal experience.  It can be very challenging for our family and friends to see us struggle, or they themselves may be struggling with their own suppressed experience of witnessing our process of being diagnosed.  One of the fundamental components of a PTSD diagnosis is experiencing or witnessing a life threatening experience and then re-experiencing it through intrusive thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories.  While it is often stronger for the person who was diagnosed, it is not unusual for loved ones to be struggling themselves and in fact is often made worse by feelings of helplessness- for the loved ones can’t take on the direct treatment experience.

If you are on the verge of that cancerversary, set aside some time for yourself to allow for contemplation.  Cancer does not have to be a dominant part of your identity, but it is an important chapter in the story of your life.  A chapter that needs to be revisited and rewritten, so that over time it can become fully integrated into the story of your life.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Healing via Creativity, Survivorship 0 comments on Listen to the replay! Stephanie’s interview about emotionally healing from cancer

Listen to the replay! Stephanie’s interview about emotionally healing from cancer

Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak with Sharon and Becky, the founders of Breast Friends of Oregon. Each Friday they host a radio show on Voices of America.

This program was about the emotional impact of cancer and healing from it. Listen to our stories and the theory behind why art therapy can help anyone who has experienced cancer- including loved ones.

Here’s the link!

Please enjoy and share with those who could benefit!

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Healing Self, Healing via Creativity, Survivorship 0 comments on The identity dance

The identity dance

I was reflecting recently about the differing opinions/perspectives on life after cancer (or any life threatening condition) and the role it plays in re-configuring our sense of self, our identity.  Someone reflected about how some people seem to want to disown/disavow their experience of having cancer whereas others are perceived to be fully immersed in their identity as a cancer survivor. I am a believer in finding the balance, which I will discuss below, but here is some food for thought to start us off: while I can appreciate that some people may come across as fully immersed in the cancer survivor identity, would you question it if they were experiencing was adjusting to parenthood? starting college? or a new job?

It’s important to keep in mind that our major life experiences absolutely shape our sense of self, especially when we are in the process of integrating that experience into our personal schema.  So there is no shame in having the need to explore, discuss, and possibly display this aspect of ourselves.  But just like anything in life, it is important to recognize that remaining stuck or overly focused on one part of our life experience is not fully being present to the moment or one’s complete identity.  And it is at the core of the work I do, to help people find the tools they need to process what they have experienced, so that it does integrate itself- rather than fracture us.

The tricky part is, it’s not like we can sit down and systematically go through the process of grieving from the start until the end.  We can’t possibly plot out all of the exact steps- small or large- that we must take in order to “fix” our identity dilemma.  And when you are in a lot of physical and emotional pain to begin with, it is very challenging to trust that you will have enough stamina and patience to go through it.

Therefore, rather than focusing the “to do” list of grieving, we need to cultivate a practice of recognizing when we are physically and emotionally exhibiting signs that we need to set aside some time for reflection to experience and release what kernel or nugget of our grief is ready to be explored.  In the beginning, it is most useful to find consistent and predictable check in moments with yourself, because it will create increased trust with yourself that you are giving yourself the gift of time and attention- rather than creating tension because you are attempting to avoid or repress a need.

It is understandable that many of us are unsure of how to support ourselves through grieving, which is why we might vacillate between ruminating, avoiding or repressing it.  This is why I developed the protocol for using a visual journal, because it can serve as a way to contain and capture an experience as we are developing our ability to sit with and observe our pain.  When we capture it through color, shape, or form, we are releasing it from our physical self which creates an unburdening.  When we feel ready to practice adding reflection into what we capture, we begin to deepen our understanding of what we have been through, which eventually leads to it’s integration into our identity.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Creative Transformations offers individual sessions, in person or via Skype, workshops, and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

 

Healing Body, Healing Self, Healing via Creativity, Survivorship 0 comments on Milestones, Anniversaries, & How the Body Reminds Us

Milestones, Anniversaries, & How the Body Reminds Us

In a few short weeks, I turn 43. My mom and her sister were both 43 when they were diagnosed with breast cancer. For 21 years, this was the milestone I thought of in my mind- if I make it beyond 43, then I won’t get cancer. Of course, I beat them to the punch by being diagnosed at 40. My aunt, 3 decades later, is living cancer free. My mom, 5 days after she turned 51, died from metastatic breast cancer. You may have already guessed what other milestones I have in my mind…

Because I have already been diagnosed with cancer, I think I assumed that this birthday would be less emotionally dense- my phrase for when my body is full of energetic sensations that come from deeply felt emotions.  But this week my body reminds me, through various cues, that the importance of this milestone has not been diminished by the fact the cancer question has been answered.  I feel a pain in my heart that has not been there for many years.

On one hand, I can feel myself wanting to distract from this pain by trying to analyze if I am being overly dramatic about it.  On the other hand, my creative spiritual side knows that this will be fuel for processing on the canvas of my breast casts, the many layers of the mother/daughter/sisterhood of cancer.  I now know what I wish to have for my birthday- the gift of time for art, to pay homage to this important milestone.

Our bodies often are the timekeepers of these milestones and anniversaries.  They are the ones that start releasing the energetic material of an important memory, almost like a reminder that we set ages ago and then forgot about.  Since many of these memories are stored within the context of grief, we often experience them as a heaviness inside.  If we allow ourselves time for introspection, the purpose of the release is often revealed to us- allowing for an Ah-Ha moment.

It can be very challenging to sit with this process of the energetic release.  Sometimes we may worry that if we fully allow ourselves to feel the pain, it will never stop.  Yet the opposite is true, the more we try to push away the pain, the more we suffer.  We can strike a compromise, when we set aside time to listen and experience the message, our body begins to trust us and with thoughtful planning we can craft a way to enter into and then exit an emotionally dense moment.  This will require listening to our personal cues of when we have reached our limits, and if that is something that you struggle with, then meeting with a therapist is highly recommended.

Process art can be an important ally when unpacking a milestone or anniversary.  It is effective because rather than ruminating over it in our minds, we are translating it onto paper.  This gives us the opportunity to literally get it off our chests, allowing us to have more breathing room as well as separation from it.  That distance can allow us to have a broader perspective of what we went through, to let go of what does not serve us, and to begin the process of making meaning.  This is the foundation of the individual sessions that I have designed as a tool for healing the body, mind, spirit, and self.

I share my story to honor the power of the collective- for the gift of vulnerability allows us to break the shackles of isolation.  “If you ask me what I came in this life to do, I will tell you.  I came to live out loud”- Emile Zola.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Creative Transformations offers individual sessions, in person or via Skype, workshops, and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Healing Body, Healing Mind, Healing Self, Healing Spirit, Healing via Creativity, Survivorship 0 comments on Digging out from the aftermath of cancer

Digging out from the aftermath of cancer

Most weeks, my writing process involves me going for a run, finding my inspiration and words for the week, and then recording them as promptly as I can.  This week, however, we had a blizzard and since I was the only non-sick member of my family, I was the one who did the majority of the digging out.  As I did so, I was fantasizing about owning a snow blower but knew that since we were still “digging out” of the financial hole cancer gave us, that was not likely going to happen.  And bam- I had my inspiration for the week.  The metaphor of “digging out” from the storm cancer (or any other life threatening circumstance) can create.

Let’s face it- facing a serious medical condition often involves a lot of drain, the draining of resources, time, health, stamina, and so forth.  Many of us are blessed to have our family and community rally behind us during the period of acute crisis and active treatment, which is a blessing and helps keep the individual and their immediate family’s heads above water.  When the crisis passes, hopefully you feel like things are eventually able to stabilize.  During this phase, it is typically the immediate family that is working to keep its own head above water.  Stabilization is important, but it’s not thriving.

For full recovery- financially, physically, emotionally, etc- we need to dig in in order to dig out.  Dig into the emotions that you needed to suppress in order to make it through the health crisis.  Dig out of the financial drain that the illness caused.  And just like this recent blizzard was for myself, there are many parts of that journey that must be done on your own, because each of our experiences is unique to us- my cancer experience was different from my husband’s or my children’s or my friend’s and family’s.

It seems to be that each time I think I have dug out from a particular phase of recovery, a little reminder pops up to say- there is more work to do!  Today’s reminder was a comment from my oldest son- asking about whether or not I might get cancer again.  To honor the honesty he needs from me, I can’t promise him that I won’t, but I do take the opportunity to tell him all of the ways I am working to care for my health.

So you might ask yourself- what do I need to dig into or out of to help myself heal today?  Find that question working it’s way into your body, mind, spirit or self.  Grab a journal, a pencil or some of your favorite art supplies and let them speak to you on the paper.  Give yourself the gift of time and space to breath some fresh air into those aspects of your healing that have felt buried.  And if you find yourself stumbling, reach out for some guidance or give one of my individual sessions a try.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Creative Transformations offers individual sessions, in person or via Skype, workshops, and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Healing Body, Healing Self, Healing via Creativity, Survivorship 0 comments on Reconstruction, a symbolic act of putting pieces back together again

Reconstruction, a symbolic act of putting pieces back together again

Many life threatening conditions require surgery to treat the condition, and for some there is the opportunity to reconstruct what has been lost.  I think for many of us, reconstruction is the symbolic act of trying to put back the pieces of ourselves, to feel whole again.  If it is our expectation that this act alone will bring us a sense of peace, we are likely going to be disappointed.  It is an important step, but truly pulling the pieces back together is a much longer process.

When you are planning for a single or double mastectomy, you simultaneously need to decide whether or not you want to have reconstruction.  For some, surgery is the first intervention for breast cancer treatment, which complicates the emotional process and gives less time for contemplation.  We’ve all heard the silver lining statements, like “At least you get to have perky boobs for the rest of your life”.  While these statements are often well-intentioned, they can minimize the loss that comes with losing a natural part of your body.

It’s a very personal decision, there are many types of reconstruction to chose from, each with their own risks and benefits.  I did chose reconstruction, and I remember laughing with a friend that I was not interested in shooting for a reconstructed nipple, because the last thing I wanted to face was the tissue becoming necrotic and falling off.  Frankly, I felt like the process of mastectomy and reconstruction was enough, and the last thing I would want it to add salt to the wound.

I have this term I like to use- emotionally dense- to capture that moment in which we are profoundly feeling and experiencing life.  The amount of time that passes during an emotionally dense experience is less important than the impact it has on our life perspective.  Reconstruction is one of those emotionally dense times, for many it happens at the end of treatment and the beginning of life post-treatment. which is nearly as terrifying as being told you had cancer in the first place.

If you are feeling at a loss following reconstruction or treatment ending, give yourself the gift of time to explore the pieces that need to be put back together.  We may wish to rush back to our lives, but if we do so without giving ourselves time to process we are going to be much more vulnerable to the unfinished business.

If we were sitting together in an art therapy session, I would be encouraging you to find a way to represent symbolically your reconstruction.  We would identify what the different pieces were that you are putting back together.  It may be layering work on canvas or paper or breaking and reconstructing work.  Find that voice inside which is whispering to you about the direction to take in a therapeutic art project.  Follow it’s lead, by taking a step you will be guided as to where you need to go next.  And if you need a little help, find a local art therapist or consider one of the individual sessions offered remotely or in person through Creative Transformations.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Creative Transformations offers individual sessions, in person or via Skype, workshops, and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

 

Healing Mind, Healing via Creativity, Survivorship 0 comments on Emotionally healing from chemotherapy

Emotionally healing from chemotherapy

Chemotherapy was the first intervention chosen to treat my breast cancer, given the size of the tumor and the fact that I had triple negative breast cancer (TNBC).  TNBC is the catch-all category of breast cancer that is not fed by estrogen, progesterone or the HER2 protein, Scientists are working hard to develop targeted therapies for this type of breast cancer; however, they believe that there is actually multiple forms of breast cancer that fall under it, which makes it more difficult to treat.  Therefore, chemotherapy is often recommended first so that the oncologists can see if it is effectively killing the cancer.

To be prepared for chemo, I had a port surgically placed to protect my veins from the 5 months of poison I was going to receive.  My port was a blessing, because it eased the anxiety and pain from all of the needle sticks, but it terrified me because one of the risks was it could carry an infection straight to my heart.  Having to make such enormous medical decisions in the chaos of the diagnosing phase is so representative of the challenges one faces after being told you have a life threatening condition. TNBC is a very aggressive form of cancer, and mine was locally advanced, so there was no luxury of time for decision making.

Once treatment had ended, I turned to art to process the experience.  I had all of these breast casts that we had done prior to surgery, on the anniversary of my first chemo treatment (which coincidentally was also my wedding anniversary), I sat down and processed the experience on the cast.  Instinctively, I knew what I wanted to do, and as I worked lines of poetry emerged that validated my emotional needs in that moment.  It came first in Spanish, and then I translated it for the cast. “Oh Red Devil (nickname for one of my chemos), I am here on my knees, please save my life, because I am not done yet, I have work and purpose still”.

It’s normal to fear that dipping into a painful memory will make it worse, but this rarely is the outcome.  In fact, the externalizing of our pain onto paper is tremendously relieving as we are carrying the memory within our body, mind, and spirit.  Kind of similar to making a shopping list, once you have it on paper you no longer have to worry that you will forget what you need.

Additionally, witnessing your experience in a tangible, visible form is self-validating, which is an important  component of healing.  Our feelings are messengers, they need an audience that is listening.  When we are compassionate and accepting of them, they feel satisfied that their work is done and they fade away.  Experiences that are complicated often bring out conflicting feelings and needs, and they may need repeated audiences with us in order to feel heard, especially if we have developed the habit of banishing or repressing them.

When we practice expressing our thoughts and feelings through process art, we can gain a deeper experience of listening to them as well as understanding them because they are no longer running around in circles in our head if we are placing them on paper. I have experienced and witnessed many “A-ha” moments from process art making, in fact they often come faster and more frequently through art because of the benefit of gaining distance visually from our internal struggle.

After I had completed my Chemo cast, I left it alone for several months.  An opportunity arose for me to tell my treatment story through art, and I pulled it out to spend some time reflecting about that experience.  The words poured easily out of me, I wrote a few poems.   Here is one below:

Chemo

The battle to kill the cancer

Feels like a death march of self

Wondering which cells are going to outlast the other

Each week we measure

Making sure the damage is not irreversible

Holding our breaths to see if

The medicine that kills

Is killing effectively.

My body grows more tired with each round

I cling on to whatever normalcy I can muster

My onc must have nerves of steel and deep conviction in the treatment

For to observe this battle, day in and day out

Must be brutal

Come , she says,

This will soon be over

And then you can rest.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Creative Transformations offers individual sessions, in person or via Skype, workshops, and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.