Last week I wrote about scanxiety, and from the numbers related to how many people read it, this topic was a popular one. I think in part that it is popular not only because scanxiety creates a lot of distress for cancer survivors, but also because it is undeniably related to having cancer.
There are so many subtle ways that you are impacted by cancer, that often you might question or doubt your own intuition when those subtle disturbances bother you. One tool I can offer to begin to uncover these subtle and not so subtle disturbances is the free survivorship assessment tool, available here.
I have yet to meet a cancer survivor who was confused about the relationship with scanxiety.
This week I wanted to explore how resistance contributes to the intensity of scanxiety. It is so normal that when we have experienced something scary, painful, life altering, that reminders of what happened to us are unwelcome. It is a natural urge for you to want to avoid, deny, distract from that reminder, especially because it brings up your unfinished business with what has happened.
While you might get temporary relief from resisting the unfinished business that scanxiety stirs, in the long run if you don’t find a way to come into awareness and acceptance that it exists, it is going to reinforce the potency of your reaction. I wrote a blog about how our body, mind and spirit needs to “off-gas”, or in other words- identify, process, and let go, in order to heal from PTSD. I used the metaphor of off-gassing because there is nothing pleasant about it, but sometimes humor lightens the load. You can read that blog by clicking here.
Resistance does have a place when you are in survival mode, because it can help you compartmentalize. Like all things in life, it’s knowing when you have crossed the line from useful to potentially harmful.
To successfully navigate the trap of resistance, you need to find the counterpoint to it, which in my mind is brining in acceptance. To bridge the gap of resistance to acceptance, you need to find ways to lower your defenses while giving yourself lots and lots of support (or asking for and receiving lots and lots of support).
This is not an easy task, which means that you likely need to invite compassion into the party, because if your tendency is to try to judge, critique or control yourself through a deeply emotional moment, it’s not going to work.
I also realize that tackling the mountain by expecting myself to jump to the top of it, is not going to get the results I want. You may have no idea of how you can ease your resistance to the inevitable scanxiety that comes- and that’s OK.
Perhaps you can redirect your reflection to a different moment in your life, in which you moved from resistance to acceptance. Do you remember what you did to support yourself through it? Do you remember how it felt before, during, and after? This is going to be a trial and error period for sure, but I am a big advocate of the belief that everyone has transferable skills- you sometimes need to approach a situation from a completely unexpected angle to get the results you seek.
I would love to hear what ideas you have for sleuthing this dilemma. Feel free to comment below or shoot me an email if that is more of your style.
Until next week!
-Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, and a former oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, she works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, an Art as Therapy program, workshops, and this weekly blog. Check out the individual packages, the self assessment tool, and virtual workshops. Sign up today so you never miss a blog and find us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.