In May, I had the chance to work on an art piece that explores both my immediate family cancer history and the sisterhood/brotherhood that is formed between all cancer warriors.  This interconnection is so powerful yet so bittersweet, because it asks us to not only face our own mortality, but the mortality of those we know and love.

One of the hardest aspects to face is a sense of survivor guilt.  In fact, independent of the severity of someone’s cancer, if you ask someone how they are doing they will almost always relay some way in which they have it easier than others who have cancer.  This humility is often at the core of empathy yet may also be a signal that survivor guilt is present.

While the presence of survivor guilt is a very natural response, it is important to be mindful of how much impact it is having on those who feel it.  If it is triggering a desire to isolate or withdraw, then it is imperative to seek out someone who can help you work through it.

When I made the original cast pictured below, I felt a release of something important, but at the time I could not express myself.  Earlier this week, I realized it was time to re-visit the cast to learn what it wished to tell me.

I leave you today with the poem that arose as I sat quietly with the cast.

The Cancer Family Tree

Our story is not unique

The pattern repeats itself over and over

The cancer code crawls through the family tree

Sparing some, taking others

Living with the possibility

You are next on its target list

 

Her story is not unique

The pattern repeats itself over and over

She had cancer once, and then it came back

Her valiant efforts were not enough

To stop it in its tracks

 

My story is not unique

The pattern repeats itself over and over

14 years after burying my mother

The doctor called to say “You have cancer”

A bittersweet moment of deep inter-generational connection

Walking in her shoes, this time from the perspective of daughter and mother

 

Our story is not unique

The pattern repeats itself over and over

The sisterhood and brotherhood of cancer warriors

Binds us tightly together

And while our story may be common

EACH ONE OF US IS UNIQUE

For the effect cancer has on our lives

Intimately impacts us in deeply personal ways

From my heart to yours, Namasté.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, and a former oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.