Healing Spirit 0 comments on Holidays and feelings

Holidays and feelings

It’s that time of year here in the US, when the holiday season descends upon us and we gather together with family and friends.  Independent of our personal circumstances, the holidays tend to stir the feelings pot- as we reflect on what our traditions have been or still are, as we take stock of our life circumstances, as we think about those who we have lost and those who we have gained.

The fact that we are marching towards the darkest day of the year tends to add to the intensity of the feelings pot, because so often darkness brings us closer to thoughts, feelings and memories that are painful.

This isn’t always a doom and gloom scenario, but so often the holidays pressure us to present only the “good” feelings, which can cause us to shut down to attending to those more vulnerable parts.  When that happens, it signals that somehow a part of ourselves is not acceptable, making those feelings go underground rather than paying them the homage they deserve in order to allow them to be released.

The line between joy and suffering is truly so thin, and we can’t quite know one without the other.  When we give ourselves permission to feel both, they can find a way to flow with more ease in and out of our lives.

This year, I am feeling a resurgence of feelings from the loss of my mom 17 years ago.  I no longer play through the experience of being with her as she died from breast cancer, as I once needed to do in order to heal.  It was the experience of losing her that lead me to become an art therapist, for which I am eternally grateful, as processing her loss through art and writing were critical components of grieving.

This year, I am feeling a tenderness towards the things I wish I could have shared with her on this earthly plane.  As I have healed emotionally from cancer, I realize that she once again she was guiding me to understand that process, because she did share with me the fears she had following her first diagnosis of cancer and how she approached her physical healing.

I am so thankful that she did, because while she could not be at my side physically to help me through cancer, the memories I had from how she handled it and what she struggled with, provided me a guidepost through the murky place that is “survivorship”.  It gave me something to work off of, to ground the groundless experience of cancer and it’s aftermath.

If you are reading this post, I wonder what you are reflecting upon as we approach this holiday season and the march towards solstice.  I hope that it finds room to breath, to express, and to circle out into the greater collective of experiences that we all share.  May our sharing with those who are willing and able to listen, bring healing to one another.

Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others ~ Harriet Goldhor Lerner

So wherever you find yourself today or during this holiday season, my thoughts are with you. Namasté.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, and a former oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Healing Body, Healing Self 0 comments on When desperation strikes

When desperation strikes

I remember my first winter after treatment ending. I had just had my final surgeries, and I was still recovering from them when I got a cold. I was already feeling pretty low physically, and this cold felt like it was pushing all of my buttons. Kind of like how your brother or sister knows how to torture you best.

I called up my PCP and did my best to convince her to give me antibiotics, citing how the radiation may have damaged my lungs and made it harder for me to heal. I was so disappointed when she said no, even though I knew deep down that it would not have been an appropriate intervention and on top of it would have killed any decent microbes that had managed to rejuvenate since the hell of treatment.

Before cancer, I hardly ever went to the doctor or got sick. I generally avoided taking medication at all costs, so this was quite out of character for me to feel this desperation.

But there are days in which that is just what cancer brings us, desperation. In this case, desperation to feel good- almost at any cost.

Of course, the above example is pretty mild in terms of the stress meter, but I share it because it demonstrates how vulnerable we can feel post cancer. Prior to having cancer, I didn’t have many qualms with my body. Post cancer, if I am not thoughtful about my stress levels and frame of mind, I can easily tumble into a dark place.

There are the more obvious triggers- such as symptoms that could be signaling a recurrence, yet in my mind what lies deep below is a sense that somehow our bodies betrayed us by growing cancer in the first place. We may also struggle with thoughts about how we did or did not do things that caused the cancer.

One ripple in the waters can set off a chain reaction. No matter where you are in in this process of healing the body, one basic recommendation that I can give you is to be compassionate with yourself when you find yourself in a desperate place (or your loved one if you are a caregiver).

When you feel desperate, it is a sign that you are feeling overwhelmed and in need of some TLC. Responding kindly to yourself or to someone else, it sets a tone that suggests that things are going to be okay. Solutions can wait until you feel stronger again, it is time to rest.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, and a former oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Healing Self, Survivorship 0 comments on Cancer’s compromising positions

Cancer’s compromising positions

Yes, this is cheeky innuendo, and yes, this post is about sexuality and how the impact of cancer interventions put you into compromising positions regarding the long term side effects.

No one lines up at menopause’s or castration’s table and says “Ooo Ooo… pick me, pick me!”.

However, if you are positive for the  BRCA 1 or 2 gene mutation, this is the life changing decision that we have the privilege of making preventatively; unlike our ovarian, prostate, and testicular cancer brothers and sisters.

I know that after being diagnosed with breast cancer, I certainly wrestled with the fact that I did not get tested for genetic mutations. I had learned I was a candidate for testing at 30, but the thought that the only clear answer would be knowing I had a mutation terrified me.  Having lost my mom to breast cancer in my 20s, I was already struggling with whether or not I should have children, and that knowledge would have made it worse.  I know I am so lucky to have had the chance to become a mom.

However, while I wish I could have prevented myself from having breast cancer in the first place, I knew that I needed to take steps to prevent ovarian cancer. I underwent an oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries and fallopian tubes) the same day that I got my new boobs. I had to preserve some sense of femininity, plus decrease the number of times that I would have to cope with anesthesia brain- which is just like chemo brain.

Whether you are a pre-vivor or survivor of cancer, once you move out of the phase of doing everything you can to save your life, you tumble into the phase of having to deal with the long term effects of the decisions you had to make. This phase is further complicated by recognizing that yet again you are in a place of privilege, because not everyone makes it that far. And if you also have a sexual trauma history, that adds another layer into the mix.

Our sexuality has the potential to be the silver lining of our lives- bringing joy, intimacy, excitement, and pleasure. It can be something that keeps us going in hard times, something that stokes our fires of hope and resiliency.

Yet, so often our sexual functioning and wellness is not even broached by our treatment teams. Likely this is a combo of the taboo nature of sex and sexuality, in addition to lack of time, proper training, and understanding of resources. When our treatment team fails to check in with us, it can have a silencing effect, impacting our capacity to self advocate for information, support and intervention.

While we may never fully return to our sexual prowess because of the hormonal changes or treatment side effects, we can likely find ways of greatly improving our sexual lives. Our definition of sexual activity may need to shift and change.

The other important component of healing is our identity as a sexual being. We may feel less feminine or masculine, our fantasy world might cause us to face over and over again how our bodies have been altered. Most grapple with the fear that their partner will not find them attractive anymore, and if you are single or in a toxic relationship this fear may be amplified.

At the heart of this turmoil related to our sexual identity, is the grieving we need to do related to what we have been through and the profound vulnerabilty that we face as we test the strengths of our partners ability to accept us (current and/or future). It is one of the biggest trust falls that we face.

If you find yourself in need of addressing your sexuality and sexual well being, here is a list of professionals who will hopefully able to help you. It begins with a conversation with your providers, and hopefully ends with finding guidance that helps you reclaim your sexuality:

  • Physical therapists- pelvic floor rehab
  • OBGYN- learning how to maintain healthy tissue
  • Urologists- our male OBGYN counterpart
  • Therapists and counselors who specialize in cancer and sex therapy
  • Relaxation experts, such as meditation teachers  and yoga instructors (who can also help with flexibility, naturally)

And so forth… the point being with a supportive recovery team, we can improve our lives.  Given the fact that we are tribal in nature, making connection with other cancer survivors and taking risks to openly discuss these issues, we decrease our sense of isolation and fear that somehow we are the only ones.  Of course, once we start making those connections, they often help us find the resources we need.

 every gesture, every caress, every touch, every glance, every last bit of the body has its secret, which brings happiness to the person who knows how to wake it

-Hermann Hesse, Siddharta

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, and a former oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

 

Healing Spirit, Survivorship 0 comments on Finding the light within

Finding the light within

One of the things that gets many of us through cancer treatment, is finding some reason to do it in the first place.  Yes, we are wired to seek survival, but often it is the people in our lives and/or our own purpose/life path that we focus on to get us through the worst of it.

Having something external to focus on can be very useful in the height of a crisis, it helps us to look ahead and be better able to compartmentalize that which we have little control over in the present.  But what happens when what we are focusing upon begins to shift, crack or even disappear from view?  Cancer treatment takes a big toll on our support system and often impacts our capacity to function in our purpose or life path.

When we feel that fundamental shift away from our loved ones and our life path, it can be very disorienting, confusing, and isolating.  We may feel as if we are floating, unthethered from something that was secure, suddenly thrust into the deep sea of uncertainty- with no clear direction of where to find solid ground.

It’s not uncommon to feel panicky when this happens, because while cancer clearly throws a wrench into our health, we do not always anticipate the way it is going to impact other aspects of our lives.  When we start to feel this way, the goal is to find a way to support yourself through it, because as Pema Chödrön reminds us:

“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”

So if you find yourself in this place, try to create some distance between yourself and the panic you feel inside, through slow, deep breaths and soothing imagery. The goal is not to avoid, repress or annihilate the panic, but rather to accept that it is there yet separate from you- giving yourself and your feelings enough space for you to co-exist.

If you feel untethered from your loved ones, it may be that they themselves feel untethered as well, for to watch someone go through cancer takes a lion’s share of  courage.

Sitting with the void, sitting with uncertainty, pushes us to learn and grow.  Find the flicker of light within, and let it be the focal point, until once again you find solid ground.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, and a former oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

 

Survivorship 0 comments on Tips for living and working during cancer treatment

Tips for living and working during cancer treatment

This week’s blog is a link to a post I wrote for Celebrate Woman Today. The assignment was a HOW TO article on being self employed and going through cancer treatment; however, the tips I share can apply to anyone facing a significant health concern who is also trying to balance responsibilities and still feel as normal as possible.

Click here to read more- the post includes action shots of myself leading a Zumba routine while bald. Whoot whoot!  And thank you Laura, for giving me this opportunity to write for your site.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, and a former oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Survivorship 0 comments on Back to Life, Back to Reality?!? Finding our way when active treatment ends

Back to Life, Back to Reality?!? Finding our way when active treatment ends

Last week I had the opportunity to attend the annual Young and Strong conference at Dana Farber in Boston.  The Young and Strong Program was created to support the emotional and physical needs of young women, 19-39, who are diagnosed with breast cancer.  The annual conference is a blend of personal stories, clinical updates and questions, opportunities to engage in experiential activities and connection.  It is a nice blend that brings together the community.

Each time that I have been, it fuels my inspiration and mission, in addition to offering a time to connect to the sisterhood no one would ask to join, yet becomes like a second family- even if you have only just met.  To stoke our resilient fires, we are well served by these opportunities to connect.

This year, one story that captured my attention was a woman who was recently diagnosed and treated for early stage breast cancer.  In an effort to assure her that her prognosis was good, the oncologist called her cancer a like a “baby” in terms of being small and that treatment would just feel like a summer project.

While the intentions may have been from a desire to help, the ramifications were anything but.  Initially, she sat with confusing feelings, trying to wrap her head around the notion that having a potentially life threatening diagnosis wasn’t a big deal.  She didn’t feel like she needed to ask for the help of family and friends, nor initially did she think she should be a candidate for receiving support services.  Fortunately, this did not prevent her from eventually engaging with the Young and Strong services, but it did take time to believe and accept that she was worthy of them.

Now that she is out of active treatment, the inevitable wall of feelings and experiences is descending upon her.  And while intellectually she was anticipating it, based upon listening to the stories and advice from fellow survivors, it is still impacting her ability to find her way through it.

There is a movement within the cancer community to try and better address the issues of survivorship, a deep desire to help.  However, unlike the various tests and tools we have to measure and dissect cancer, there is no “objective” measure for how far along someone is in the emotional healing process.  No one can take a tube of blood from your arm and come back with a diagnostic report: 5% chemo brain, 15% fatigue, 20% PSTD, 30% of triggers neutralized, 50% emotionally healed… and so forth.

Cancer treatment is not fun, but generally there is both a game plan of how treatment and it’s side effects will be managed. We can have a survivorship plan to work off from, but it is going to be a lot more comprehensive to be successful, and it requires the ability to live with a lot of uncertainty about how fully you can recover in addition to managing the fears of recurrence.

It was my experience from my first Young and Strong conference that helped me conceptualize my role in serving others who are in treatment and in survivorship.  We may never be the same again (honestly, what major life experience has ever landed you right back where you were?), but we do not need to accept that we will never “get over” having had cancer.

If you are wondering about finding your way through survivorship, Creative Transformations is offering a discussion in partnership with the MaineHealth Learning Resource Center and the Cancer Community Center on November 13, 2017.  The discussion is free and open to the public, for pre-registration, please click on this link.  If you are not able to attend yet want assistance in building your survivorship plan, I offer cancer coaching both in person and online.  Or connect to your local cancer support resource center for professionals in your area who can help.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Healing Body, Healing Mind, Healing via Creativity 0 comments on The tentacles, layers and roots of our lives

The tentacles, layers and roots of our lives

Have you ever had the experience of talking about one life event, only to have it trigger all sorts of thoughts, feelings and memories that initially would have seem unrelated?  I see this happen all of the time in my own life and in the conversations that I have with clients.  When it happens, people often express surprise at how the conversation can wander in such unexpected ways.

To which, I always smile and reply:

Talking about our personal lives often feels like a series of interconnected tentacles, layers or root systems, and that our bodies and minds store them together- even when we might not have considered throwing them into the same box.  It is the quality of the emotions that are present which set off a wild and spontaneous ride through our psyche

As a therapist, I am always thrilled to see this happen in session, because it is evidence that the individual feels relaxed enough to just follow the path that is being laid out by our psyche.  It can almost feel like a state of being awake and dreaming, because we are unpacking the box as it is, rather then predetermining what was in there in the first place.

To stimulate this processing, we often look for a jump off point in a person’s story, or use a prompt to get the juices going.  This is the intention behind the individual art therapy sessions that have been designed to help heal emotionally from cancer and other life threatening experiences.  To fully heal from cancer, it is going to take time, and I wanted to design a tool that people can use as they move forward with their lives.

As Shai Tubali writes:

Emotions cannot evolve though intellectual comprehension; there must be direct access to them, access that allows them to go through a transformation from the plane in which they actually exist

When we find our leap off point, and then explore through art, writing and ultimately sharing through talking, we find ourselves leaning into what has happened and experiencing the emotions through an observational place- as we are trying to represent them in some way.  This allows us greater ability to move in and out of a painful experience, rather then going around and around in an unending thought loop inside of our minds.  The result allows us to begin the process of transformation.

Sometimes we need to move in and out of something rather quickly, in order to get used to the process.  Kind of like moving your body in and out of the ocean in order to acclimate it to the temperature, before leaping in completely.  If we respect our pacing while challenging ourselves to continue to move towards fully jumping in, we will find a greater trust in our own ability to do so.

So tell me, where do you wish to begin?

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Healing Self, Survivorship 0 comments on Reaching towards

Reaching towards

Prior to experiencing cancer, my psychotherapy practice had specialized in eating disorder and trauma work, which I continue to do and love. This weeks blog is inspired by the difficult and life changing work that these clients take on as they heal, and the parallels I see with healing emotionally from a life threatening illness.

Reaching towards… it is an act of bravery, reaching towards how you want to feel and be, through the walls and barriers that have been constructed in order to keep that you safe.  The protection that may have once been necessary in order to survive, but now has become so life limiting that it threatens the very life the walls were built to protect.

Reaching towards… it is an act of faith, because you are reaching towards something that will hopefully serve you well, while recognizing that their is great uncertainty in its outcome.

Reaching towards… it is an act of breaking the stagnancy, of recognizing you have done what you can emotionally and physically to take the next step, and now the one thing left to do is to take the next step.

Reaching towards… takes us out of the zone in which we feel comfortable (even if it is not comforting), and into the zone in which we grow.

When you have cancer, there can be a sense of urgency to make important changes within one’s life and self, especially if you have been given the gift of a clean bill of health.  This urgency can become paralyzing at times, especially when we are feeling vulnerable to what we have been through.

If this is the case for you at this time, what might you imagine that first step to be?  How might you begin to reach forward in your life, while safeguarding some time and energy for processing what you have been through?

It is times like this, when I look for inspiration in the poem “The Journey”, written by Mary Oliver.  Sometimes the voices she references are those of others who perhaps hold us back; however, sometimes the voices she references come from the fear we hold inside about the unknown.  Whichever may be true for you, can you take the spirit of leaving it all behind, in order to reclaim your own unique voice?

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice-

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

“Mend my life!”

each voice cried.

But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determine to do

the only thing you could do-

determined to save

the only life you could save.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Healing Self, Healing via Creativity 0 comments on Storytelling, a powerful tool for healing

Storytelling, a powerful tool for healing

This week I had the opportunity to do an in-service for the Dempsey Center staff about Expressive Arts Therapy. It gave me the opportunity to share again the healing power of art through the example of the breast casts that I used to process my cancer experience, which was powerful.

However, it was what happened after the presentation, when we moved into the experiential exercise that really spoke volumes. I asked everyone to get in touch with either something personal or an experience related to their work of being in service to cancer patients and their loved ones.  I asked them  to go inside and figure out how they felt about what they chose, the impact it has had on their body, mind, spirit, and self. When they were in touch with what they wanted to explore, I asked them to represent it through color, shape and form.

What came forth was a reminder of how powerful it is to take the risk and share your story. The exercise of putting it out onto paper made the stories more tangible to tell, and when the story and images were shared, it added depth and richness to the experience. In that moment of witnessing, we became more intimately connected to one another, seeing our different roles from a new lens.  For a moment, we embodied the experience of another, which in turn allowed us to connect more deeply to our own.

This form of art making, the visual journalling process, is a practice of being in silence with ourselves, in an active, curious way.  Silence can be an intimidating prospect for many, especially in the world we live in.  Yet silence allows us to create an attunement to our inner world and an attunement to the experience of others, strengthening our capacity for compassion.  Since art making is a form of moving meditation, it can build a bridge to feeling greater ease with silence.

It takes courage and trust to share something personal. It takes time to build confidence and trust with the ability to share, so be gentle with yourself if you are not ready to share actively with others.  The rewards we reap from sharing and witnessing help stoke the fire of resiliency and decrease our sense of isolation.  As one of my favorite quotes reminds me:

If you ask me what I came in this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud ~ Emile Zola

So tell me, what is the story you wish to share?

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.

Healing Self, Healing via Creativity 0 comments on Unexpected opportunities

Unexpected opportunities

In a couple of weeks, I will be packing up my boobs and mailing them off to Illinois.  That is, the casts of my breasts, that I have used as the canvas to process my experience of having cancer.  They will be a part of an art show, curated by the artist Caren Helene Rudman, at the Evanston Art Center titled “Undefinable: Women’s Health in America”.  I am so thrilled and honored to be included with this group of artists, who are exploring a wide range of health issues and their impact on each individual artist.

I’ve never been in an art show before, and thinking of myself as an artist can send me cringing.  Yet, when I look at what I produced thus far, I do feel deeply that each cast really reflects my experience, and that lends me confidence to send a piece of myself off to be witnessed by others, and hopefully be in service of whatever healing they are seeking.  Since this is an opportunity that found me, I am going to trust that I am worthy of it.

Having a life threatening illness is not something that any of us wishes for; however, the unexpected opportunities that arise because of it often bring richness into our lives.  In particular, the retreats and conferences that exist for the survivors.  I recently presented the workshop, Building Resiliency, at a breast cancer retreat weekend that has been operating for 30 years.  Listening to the women, it was clear that while none of them ever wanted to have cancer, the relationships they built with other survivors and life transformations that happened as a result were priceless.

Being a part of that club gives us the opportunity to confront the 4 universal fears that I have referenced before- fear of being along, of dying, of losing freedom, of losing our sense of purpose.  Facing them head on is an opportunity to grow, to evaluate the direction of our lives, and to consider making some changes that allow us to question what might be expected of us and take chances by going the unanticipated path.

Recognizing the opportunities doesn’t mean squelching the much needed grieving process that any significant loss of innocence entails, it is the opposite.  In order to fully live each breath that we are given in this life, it is important to create space for the full story to co-exist side-by-side.

– Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor, who works as an oncology counselor at the Dempsey Center. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Through Creative Transformations, Stephanie works with people in person and online to offer cancer coaching, a DIY Individual Art Therapy program to enhance any healing work you are undertaking; workshops; and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting our website, Creative Transformations, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.